Okay, I know how blessed I am, I know how lucky I am, I know how loved I am and so on and I'm so grateful for all of that but today I've decided that having a brain tumor really SUCKS!!!
I have these sweet little men in my life that want me to play basketball with them; they want me to spin them around and fly them in the air (like I used to do) and much more. I have been able to say, "Can we play this or that instead b/c mommy will fall on her face if she tries to do those things or will end up with a huge headache?" and they are always so good about it and seem to understand.
Today my 11 year old and I were having a heart to heart about a dance coming up this Saturday (he and I go together) b/c I feel just horrible that I will not be able to dance with him. He doesn't seem to mind, and all of the other moms that are going say not to worry about it, but I feel just horrible. I offered a grandmother or someone else to go with him but he said he still wants me to be the one to go with him...how sweet is that?!?!
Anyway, I know things could be much worse right now but I just had to take a moment to feel sorry for myself and to say that having a brain tumor really SUCKS!!!
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I think you are more than welcome to have a selfish moment! You are handling this wonderfully and you are allowed to have a bad day!!!!! Now, since you have had your selfish moment, remember how fortunate you are that this could be so much worse and that you are in the best hands possible - Gods! I have been thinking and praying for you since I found out. I am here if you need anything. Us moms of boys have to stick together! :) God never gives us more than we can handle....sometimes I wonder if he realizes he gave me two wild boys!!!
ReplyDeleteLove ya, God Bless!
I bet they still think you are the best mommy ever!! It's ok that you may not be able to dance. You are there with him, and that's what counts! You could post how much this tumor sucks all day long, and I wouldn't think you are selfish!(that means alot coming from a stranger huh?) ;) You are still an inspiration! Hang it there. Things will be better soon!
ReplyDeleteLots of prayers,
Stacey
Kim is absolutely right, you are allowed to have a bad day! Unfortunately, there will be more of those days, in the weeks to come, but in the end you are a positive, strong woman that will defeat any obstacles that lie ahead! You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers everyday.
ReplyDeleteThank you ladies for all of your supportive words.
ReplyDeleteKim~yes mothers of boys (we're a special breed)...holy cow...lots of energy. They're handling it pretty well...at least they have their dad to wrestle with them. He's so good about it too:)! Thanks for being so positive, see you in the morning!
Stacey~you're too kind...stranger or not;)lol! I really do appreciate your support and making me feel better about the dance. He's such a strong kid so hopefully he won't be too embarrassed, ha! Thank you!
Kathy~yes I'm sure there are going to be lots more bad days and today wasn't horrible...just annoying! Thank you for your support as well. It really means a lot.
Love to you all,
Jen (((hugs)))
Selfish: Concerned chiefly or only with yourself and your advantage to the exclusion of others; disagreeable person, unpleasant person.
ReplyDeleteThat's the definition of selfish. It's okay to concentrate on yourself, worry about yourself, or think of yourself from time to time ... and it hardly makes you selfish. You should never feel guilty about that. You are going through a really crappy thing right now and it's okay to be sad or mad about it.
I would be bummed about not being able to dance, too. I really think it will still be very special and fun though! What a great event!
Hang in there!
Jen
If it's anything like the Daddy/Daughter dance they do here, the girls will hardly dance with their Daddy anyway, they always want to play with their friends. But you said you've gone before, boys are probably different. I'm rambling, sorry, was trying to make you feel better. You are so, so , entitled to a "THIS SUCKS" day. You are the most positive person I know, you inspire me to want to be a better person everyday. Thoughts and prayers, love you!!! The Galbraiths
ReplyDeleteJen -
ReplyDeleteYou are certainly allowed to be selfish; we all would be in this circumstance. Beyond selfish, you are allowed to be mad, upset and frankly, a bit pissed off. :) I think your attitude through all of this has been nothing short of amazing. Any negative feelings are simply natural and make you human. You have four wonderful boys who love their mom and are just happy to be with you. As far as the dance, if you want to dance with Austin, then you will dance with Austin. We will all be there to help keep you straight and vertical.
On a separate note - I was asking Jason where he would like to go tomorrow after school for a bit while I am at a meeting. He thought a minute and said Gordon's house because he has a really nice mom. :) I told him not tomorrow, but again some other time. It made me smile, and I hope it does the same for you.
I will see you on Saturday!!
Lisa
Selfish? You? NOOOO! How can "mom of 4 boys & wife" and "selfish" even be in the same universe? I agree. The tumor DOES suck. What DOES NOT suck is YOUR great attitude. From what I've seen so far, you have taken a bad hand of cards, and chosen to say, "Hey, the cards might suck but the company's great!" You've chosen to see the beauty of the people around you. You could hate everything right now (and I don't know that I would blame you) but you don't. I know that when my Dad when through 3 brain tumors, he had one of the best attitudes EV-ER! LIKE YOURS! Look, his wasn't perfect everyday, but he allowed himself to be human. And girl, you are one super-organized loving mom/wife... and you are HUMAN. You are allowed to roll around in that every now and then. So, yes, the tumor can suck at any given moment and that's OK! You are still ever-so-sweet and we still love you and we will do whatever you guys need at ANY given moment!
ReplyDeleteMatt & Annette Butler